If you are guy from anywhere in the world in search of pen pals or girlfriends outside your own country, you may have your eyes on Asian girls or perhaps Russian girls for that matter or on other pretty women from Mars. At any rate, you have already gathered plenty of photos and addresses of the women you want to contact online. After a couple of months in the process, you think that around 3 or 4 of them seem good baits after you have exchanged personal data, including photos. You feel some pretty good attraction for 2 or 3 of them who are Filipino citizens and live in the Philippines. So, you decided to meet in person by visiting them. I think that meeting them in person is a good idea because you would have an opportunity to know them better somewhat and have your questions answered (the ones you failed to ask online). By the way, these girls with their grand smile are pretty good looking with their shiny and flowing hair, don’t you agree? Perhaps, these characteristics were the ones that hit your fancy first. At any rate, you now have the opportunity of a lifetime to be in the presence up close and “personal” of the one who may be your next fiancée or wife. Have there been “things” that you wanted to know feverishly about these Filipino women since the time you started communicating with them? I am sure you did. Have you waited for them to reveal to you any secrets they may have with respect to their social lives? First of all, don’t count on it or you would be in for a long rough ride. Let’s get to the point: If I were you, I would want each of them to tell me if she has had a boyfriend. If so, how long did the relationship last and why it dissolved? I also want to ask her if she now has a boyfriend. The Filipino boyfriend/girlfriend relationship carries different meaning due to social context and culture from that in the Western world. I suggest that you read “The Whole Truths You Should Know before You Visit the Philippines.” In chapter eight under “Factors” that Really Matter in Your Relationship with Your Filipino Girlfriend or Wife” you will learn all you need to know about the Filipino boyfriend/girlfriend factor. Here are some of the hidden puzzles you should know before your relationship gets serious: 1) does the Filipino woman you are interested in have any babies whom she never revealed to you? If she denies having any, how can you be sure that her answer is neat and transparent? WARNING: It is customary in the Philippines that some girls ranging from 14-21 may have 3 to 7 kids or more out of wedlock. Guess what? These girls are always single because the ones who take care of their babies are the grandmas or other members of the family. So, it is very easy for these Filipino women with kids to fool you unless you are sharp and have detective eyes to spot their lies. By the same token, I know of an expat who has had the misfortune of marrying a young Filipino woman who confessed to him that she only had a child because she was raped. With this in mind, the foreigner agreed to marry her. Six months into the marriage, she introduced 4 more kids to her husband, saying that these drunken men got her pregnant because they forced her into having sex with her not because they were her boyfriends. In the interim, where were these kids? They were in the custody of her grandma, of course. This is the way this game is played for the most part in the Philippines for quite some time. You are now forewarned and you have the last word.
The “Foreigner Factor” in the Philippines
Lately, with the influx of thousands of foreign nationals into the Philippines, I have observed a number of phenomena taken place around the island; obviously, one of which is what I call the “Foreigner Factor.” This has been a part of social intercourse here. Nonetheless, don’t expect to grab it, see it, or smile at it. Sure, you may observe its presence around you should you happen to reside in the Philippines.
I think I know what you have in mind right now: “Heck! What does the “Foreigner factor” have to do with me?” Paul, a Westerner and retired man, is married to his Filipino wife and both of them reside in the Philippines. I had met Paul on several occasions and shared interesting stories about life in the West as opposed to life in the Philippines. Matter of fact, I have been fortunate enough to converse with a great numbers of expats on the same subject.
These give-and-take comments-sharing have helped me formulate the equation for the “Foreigner Factor.” To a scant exception, you are deeply in it if you are a foreign national married to a Filipino woman: You can observe this factor in full course when all of a sudden your wife introduces you to one of her best friend and tells you that the latter is in need of a 50 thousand pesos to start her business. She would like you to lend her that money as she will repay you at a set interest! How would you react to this proposition? Doesn’t this sound crazy to you? Don’t get too excited about that because some of these women get away with their propositions! In another occasion, she comes to you and let you know that her younger brother and younger sister are entering college and the enrollment and tuition money are a major reason why they may have to drop out and not have a college education. Nice performance, isn’t it?
Electric bills in the Philippines, but you observe that she turns on the air conditioner when there is no need for it. When you try to reason with her about it, she tells you that where she came from is cool and that the house she used to live with her parents aren’t made of materials that make the house so warm or hot. She now establishes herself as the woman who cannot live without air conditioner. That’s not so bad for a woman who had not had any air conditioner in her parents’ home. She is smart enough to establish a new normal for her. Your take?
The funny thing is remove the “Foreigner factor” from the equation and see what we get: the status quo. None of the above scenarios would exist. However, what we as foreign nationals understand is certainly not what they have their eyes and minds on. Two different interpretations emerge. As far as these Filipinos are concerned, the “Foreigner Factor” is a reality, a God-sent, and a new normal in their lives. I wonder how you, as a foreigner, deal with the “Foreigner Factor?” I am by no means saying that all Filipino women act that way, but surely a great number of them do as they embrace the “Foreigner factor” so dearly. You have the last word.